26. Here’s Denis Leary Doing a Dildo Commercial:

by suededenimfiresale

Look lady: It’s time to accept the truth. Finger bangin’ mighta worked for your Aunt Harriet back when poodle skirts were all the rage, but now? It’s all about the dildos, my friend. And we ain’t talkin’ about no mamby-pamby dildos either, but big honkin’ stick-it-in-your-snatch-and-you-still-got-a-couple-feet-a-handling-to-work-with dildo. Real men’s penises are a friggin’ joke compared to these dildos; while your boyfriend Gary Bonerpills is drooping like a wilted orchid in July, this is one rock-hard dildo that stays as solid, thick, and tuff as the business end of a Louisville Slugger. This ain’t no coffeehouse half-chub. Your vagina’s gonna be tapped like a frathouse keg, and kegs are full of beer! Beer is good and so is smoking. You got a problem with that, Lilith Fair?!

Advertisements