Story #4: Writers Reading Their Work in Bars as the Age of Narcissistic Malaise Wears On…
I me I me I me [swear word swear word swear word!] boobs boobies tits [blue collar vernacular] I me I her sex sexy sex (right?) poop pee ding-dong [swear word swear word!] [pause for swear words because swear words are funny and shocking] [drug reference] [stuff they don’t talk about in those hoity-toity New York City literary magazines] dildo!
Me I me beer beer beer shots shots shots! Teenage. I. Me. [Local characters who tell it like it is.] Fart! Girl. Girlboobs. Girlbutt. Girltalk. Relationships! (Right?) Authority figures. Mom and Dad. Cops/pigs. Teachers.
I me I me me me me I I me me me I I I me navel-gaze crank-yank [swear word] me I [shouted reactions!] [dramatic eyecontact with audience] [well-timed naughty word] [swear word] [my voice is loud I am a writer look at me loud bar look at me] Fingerbang threesome bra strap whoops!
Sex. [tee hee]
Pills [you’re not normal so tell them you’re not normal and they’ll love you for your self-relelation] me me me me I I I me me me stuff involving me and I look boobs embarrassing funny [swear word] [self-conscious awareness of form] [acknowledge the form] [break the rules of the form in a mischievous way]
I me I me I I me me[pop culture reference from childhood] [sports team reference] Motherfather old pet hospital boobs I me I me me I I drink drank drunk [character tears the labels off the empties as he talks] [the bartender is a really good listener, streetwise, jaded, but still cares]
Yell scream I me I me I me my me whoa! [Convenient epiphany tying it all together]
I me I me me me me me me I me me I I I me me me me me me me me me.
[Thank the audience.]